Someone put their hands on my head for the first time in over a month today, and then 3 more people did the same thing with varying degrees of firmness.
Then I cried (a little, a lot), the first time I've let anyone see me cry since I got to Korea 7 1/2 months ago.
Here are the reasons I can think of for needing (wanting?) to cry in front of U Young-Hee and I So-Yeon (gg#2) so urgently:
1. after school classes making me feel worthless as a teacher again, how can I manage this new environment?
2. guilt seeping in when you tell me you miss me, sometimes I wonder if I am a bad person for finding it so easy to leave Michigan and the U.S. and you, sometimes I wish I was the kind of person who found it difficult to leave things behind
3. I've been feeling a little fragile lately, as though I've perpetually just eaten tongue (@warmandbarky)
4. it's been a long time since I cried in front of someone, maybe it was time and maybe I knew that U Young-Hee and I So-Yeon were safe people to cry in front of and also that no one would think it strange if I felt many deep emotions while their hands were on my head
1 comment:
<3, pam, my less than three hands are on your head.
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