Disclaimer: I have limited knowledge of and very little right to judge The Korean Education System.
Also, please note that when I say "The Korean Education System," I don't mean the teachers around me. A few of the teachers at my school have written off our students, but a large number of the teachers I know well are doing everything in their power to help our students succeed within the system they are required to teach. It's not their fault the system is faulty. (see disclaimer)
But when my favorite students - the diligent, considerate, funny, eager, creative, lovely ones - tell me how their education has failed them, I cannot forgive it. I cannot forgive the system that has made it impossible for my students to achieve their dreams - or, at the very least, has made them believe that it is impossible for them to achieve their dreams.
The Korean education system is changing, at least a little. There is a growing belief (or so I have perceived) that self-expression and active production (rather than massive amounts of rote memorization) are important elements of learning. But it's not changing enough or fast enough to open the door for most of my students.
신철 (Shin-Chul) and I take the same bus home, and his walk was slow and depressed when I caught him on the way to the bus stop today. He'd gotten 100% on his English semester exam - I'd given him chocolate - but the exams our school gives out are ridiculously easy compared to the college entrance exams he'll have to take in December, and he knows it. It doesn't matter that all his final exam scores were above 90%, and it doesn't matter that he's at the top of our school. The only thing (the only thing!) that matters is his score on the 수능, Korea's hell-version of the SAT.
He's so worried, so depressed about the little time he has left to study for the test (most Korean students start preparing for the exam 4 years in advance), and it makes me so sad, because he's such a lovely student and such a wonderful human being. He's told me that he wants to be a teacher, and that he wants to teach his students differently than he was taught, so that he can find out and encourage their dreams.
I want him to succeed so much. If any of my students have what it takes to pass the extremely competitive teaching exam (in which the chances are quite literally about 1 in 1000 of being selected as a public school teacher), it's 신철. But in all honesty, it's likely that he won't pass. He knows that, too - but he's still trying really hard. It's so unfair that this student - who has experienced for himself the ways in which The Korean Education System doesn't work, who wants to change the system to benefit future generations of Korean students, who knows what needs to be changed - probably won't be able to get past the exams required to participate in the system.
I have a ridiculous soft spot for 신철, I'll admit that to you. I might even idolize him a little bit. It's just that he's so good - though admittedly I probably don't know him very well on the whole - but I've never seen him be anything other than hard-working and kind and generous, with me, with his other teachers, and with his fellow students.
But 신철 is by far not the only student with this dilemma. If I were to put my students into groups, a lot of them would be in the 신철 group, the motivated-students group. There's 경준 and 희만 and 서정 and 승민 and 승화 and 홍범 and 무석 and 선우 and 성권 and others that I won't name and many others that I don't know by name and only by their oh-so-eager faces.
What can I do for them? (Not to negate the question of "What can I do for the other students, the ones who are not motivated [to study]?" - it's just that the motivated students are the ones most on my mind today.) I want them all to achieve everything they are working so hard for, how can I help them?
Today I put my signature on a contract for August 25, 2010 - August 24, 2011.
Showing posts with label sometimes my students are the best thing ever. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sometimes my students are the best thing ever. Show all posts
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
not as perceptive as you think you are
My co-workers keep telling me how much I love my students these days. I think: but haven't I always loved them? But didn't I love them more those first months at school?
Here is the story in four stages:
Stage 1: When I first came to Seoul Electronics High School last September, the students were strange to me, and I was strange to them. Just catching sight of me was enough to throw them into hysterics, and the prospect of teaching a class full of them was a fearful thing for me. For a few months I had a sort of crush on all my students; I did not see their faults and only saw my own.
Stage 2: After a while, I started seeing things I didn't like about my students. I saw their homophobia and their fat-phobia and their bullying tendencies and their disregard for the people around them. (Obviously, these do not apply to all of my students, or in equal parts to the students they do apply to -- I am simply naming characteristics [which I see as negative] that are fairly common at my school.) I scolded/punished these things when they occurred in my classroom but generally tried to forget about them after the fact so that I could continue to be in love with my students.
Stage 3: When the second semester came, my after school class started, and with it the necessity of managing and punishing a group of (largely) very naughty students. At first, I tried to rely solely on positive reinforcement; that failing, I scolded them a lot and warned them a lot and then gave out a fair number of punishments. For a while, I partially succeeded, but also fell out of love with a number of my students in the process. I was tired of their rudeness to me in and out of class, and I was tired of hearing their false excuses for skipping class. And even though the majority of my students were not the ones causing me the stress, my frustration at my after-schoolers bled over a little into my attitude towards the entire student body.
Stage 4: I stopped fighting with my after school students. I came to the conclusion that without the help of their homeroom teachers, there was nothing more I could do to induce them to come to my class or to behave respectfully (to me and to their peers) during the class. I accepted that they had not wanted to sign up for the class in the first place, and I stopped paying attention to them, instead concentrating solely on the diligent students who did/do desire to study English with me.
From the point I stopped fighting, we have slowly progressed to now. I love my students, really. Almost all of them I love; there are only a few who are hard to forgive, whose faces I am not happy to see when I pass them in the hallways. There is also a small but not insignificant percentage of students that I still have crushes on, the sweet, sweet students who still get excited every time we meet, who wouldn't be caught dead not paying attention in class, who say "Sorry, Teacher" when their classmates won't quiet down.
The majority of the students, though, I do not have crushes on, but I am still happy to see them and happy to enter their classrooms. My love for them is a calm, well-rounded love. I know them better than I knew them before. I love them for their silliness and find the process of waking them up for class endearing, and I can recognize the things I dislike about them without hating them for it. I like this stage.
Here is the story in four stages:
Stage 1: When I first came to Seoul Electronics High School last September, the students were strange to me, and I was strange to them. Just catching sight of me was enough to throw them into hysterics, and the prospect of teaching a class full of them was a fearful thing for me. For a few months I had a sort of crush on all my students; I did not see their faults and only saw my own.
Stage 2: After a while, I started seeing things I didn't like about my students. I saw their homophobia and their fat-phobia and their bullying tendencies and their disregard for the people around them. (Obviously, these do not apply to all of my students, or in equal parts to the students they do apply to -- I am simply naming characteristics [which I see as negative] that are fairly common at my school.) I scolded/punished these things when they occurred in my classroom but generally tried to forget about them after the fact so that I could continue to be in love with my students.
Stage 3: When the second semester came, my after school class started, and with it the necessity of managing and punishing a group of (largely) very naughty students. At first, I tried to rely solely on positive reinforcement; that failing, I scolded them a lot and warned them a lot and then gave out a fair number of punishments. For a while, I partially succeeded, but also fell out of love with a number of my students in the process. I was tired of their rudeness to me in and out of class, and I was tired of hearing their false excuses for skipping class. And even though the majority of my students were not the ones causing me the stress, my frustration at my after-schoolers bled over a little into my attitude towards the entire student body.
Stage 4: I stopped fighting with my after school students. I came to the conclusion that without the help of their homeroom teachers, there was nothing more I could do to induce them to come to my class or to behave respectfully (to me and to their peers) during the class. I accepted that they had not wanted to sign up for the class in the first place, and I stopped paying attention to them, instead concentrating solely on the diligent students who did/do desire to study English with me.
From the point I stopped fighting, we have slowly progressed to now. I love my students, really. Almost all of them I love; there are only a few who are hard to forgive, whose faces I am not happy to see when I pass them in the hallways. There is also a small but not insignificant percentage of students that I still have crushes on, the sweet, sweet students who still get excited every time we meet, who wouldn't be caught dead not paying attention in class, who say "Sorry, Teacher" when their classmates won't quiet down.
The majority of the students, though, I do not have crushes on, but I am still happy to see them and happy to enter their classrooms. My love for them is a calm, well-rounded love. I know them better than I knew them before. I love them for their silliness and find the process of waking them up for class endearing, and I can recognize the things I dislike about them without hating them for it. I like this stage.
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
Today had a lot of joyful things in it:
1. canceled classes = coffee, walnut ice cream, and a stroll around the school with the gossip girls
2. learned that I will share a room with the gossip girls at the teachers' training/hiking retreat in a few weeks. Why can I not stop thinking "sleepover!" ?
3. it started thunderstorming suddenly after lunch, and didn't stop until about 30 minutes before I went home. I had no classes, I stood at the school entrance and watched it.
4. three of my all time favorite students from Robot Electronics caught me on my way home, wanted to know what I thought of Korea's weather. I mean it when I say: what on earth would I do without these silly, diligent students who never stop being happy to see me?
See? Today had a lot of joyful things in it. I'm in the process of trying not to let my continued frustration at my after school class's situation get in the way of these things.
2. learned that I will share a room with the gossip girls at the teachers' training/hiking retreat in a few weeks. Why can I not stop thinking "sleepover!" ?
3. it started thunderstorming suddenly after lunch, and didn't stop until about 30 minutes before I went home. I had no classes, I stood at the school entrance and watched it.
4. three of my all time favorite students from Robot Electronics caught me on my way home, wanted to know what I thought of Korea's weather. I mean it when I say: what on earth would I do without these silly, diligent students who never stop being happy to see me?
See? Today had a lot of joyful things in it. I'm in the process of trying not to let my continued frustration at my after school class's situation get in the way of these things.
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
my cluttered desk, my favorite students
my cluttered desk, between the computer and the scissors a teachers' day present from my favorite student
In the Korean part, he thanked me for my classes, told me the history of the souvenir he gave me, and said he wants me to have a good image of Korea even though the students at our school are naughty.
the whole school had a nature outing. gossip girl is intense.
Kyung-Hwa with the student who works as a model
me, Kyung-Hwa, Shin-Jung (my main co-teacher)
Shin-Jung with the Robot Electronics 3rd graders. Right behind her is my favorite student, Shin-Chul.
Young-Gyung (my youngest co-teacher) with the Robot Electronics 3rd graders
posing for senior pictures
he begged me not to save this photo.
me with Digital Electronics 3rd graders. In the white shirt: Jae-Pil, my second favorite student, who has received a lot of chocolate from me and sings opera to me when he sees me in the hallways
Shin-Jung and Young-GyungSunday, 16 May 2010
can you feel my heartbeat?
it's beating for you.
did you know that I sometimes call Young-Gyung "언니"? did you know that she asked me to? do you know what it means?
did you know that I really wanted 9th grade to be the last time I played dodgeball?
did you know that I cheered for Robot Electronics the whole time, just because of 신철?
did you know that I stood and put my right hand over my heart like all the other teachers when they played Korea's national anthem?
did you know that all my favorite students fell down?
did you know that I only like 2PM when my students are dancing to them? did you know that I still only know one of the names of the students in dance club, even though I love them all? did you know that it's the "okay"/"I love you" student? did you know that his name is 마승호? did you know that I still don't know how exactly I should react when he (ridiculously, in very broken English) attempts to flirt with me and convince me to go on a date?
did you know that all my favorite students fell down?
did you know that all my mother hens kick ass at dodgeball?
did you know how frightening some of my students' mothers are when they've formed a circle around you, and they have a ball?
did you know it was cold that day, and none of us bothered to catch students smoking in the bathrooms?
did you know that they encourage me to drink alcohol at any/all school functions?did you know that that's probably me screaming in the background? did you know that I've started the process of making my application to renew my contract?
Friday, 26 March 2010
질문 있어요?
I can't count the number of times I've asked "Do you have any questions?" in class. A lot of the time I mean "Do you have any questions about today's topic/vocabulary?" but a significant portion of the time (especially at the beginning of the semester) I mean "Do you have any questions about me?"
I know that many of them are really curious about me. Korea and myself in Korea no longer seems like a novelty to me (most of the time), and so sometimes I forget that my presence is still a strange thing for my students and some of my co-workers and many of the people I see on the streets. (It's a little weird to feel like you belong somewhere when you're seen as out-of-place by nearly everyone around you.)
I always answer personal questions when the students ask me. I've lost so many of my boundaries. As previously mentioned: if putting my insecurities on display makes my students more excited about learning, then I'll put them on a goddamn poster. The things that make me feel insecure have been on a goddamn poster for a long time. There's not a lot I won't tell my students to gain their attention (though I'll admit that I lie to them about some questions [e.g. "Why aren't you married?"] out of self-preservation).
And the students are curious about me, still - I learned that today. I stayed at school about an hour past the time I'm allowed to leave to prepare for speaking tests next week, and 5 of my students ran to catch up to me on the way to the bus stop and had so many questions.
They were really good questions, too, like "Live in Korea is hard?" "Why come to our school?" "Teaching our school students is difficult?"
I told them I love living in Korea (I thought that was common knowledge by now). I told them teaching students at our school is sometimes hard because the students talk loudly in Korean and I have to yell. I told them I didn't have a choice about which school I was assigned to, but that I am really happy that I was assigned to Seoul Electronics High School.
They told me about dance club, which is why they were staying late at school too. At the school festival (which happens SOMETIME) they will perform this dance. "Heartbeat" was all the rage amongst my students during the deep winter months/is sometimes still all the rage. I told them I'm excited to see them perform - that's true.
We all took the bus together to Sadang and then they waited for me while I recharged my Hello Kitty subway card and then we all took the green line west together. I was so impressed with their English and all the things they managed to talk to me about, I couldn't figure out why they'd never approached me before. Three of them were 1st graders, that's easy - they've only known me for 3 weeks. But 2 of them were 2nd graders (I don't teach them this year, they told me they miss me), they've known me for 7 months.
My stop was first, and they actually said "Please don't go" as I prepared to get off the subway. I wouldn't make that up.
I wonder what made them decide to approach me today. I wonder how the 3 1st graders will act when I see them in class again next week - quiet as usual? or newly confident about their English (which sometimes seems to happen)?
I'll definitely get on their nuts more in and out of class now that I know what they're capable of.
I know that many of them are really curious about me. Korea and myself in Korea no longer seems like a novelty to me (most of the time), and so sometimes I forget that my presence is still a strange thing for my students and some of my co-workers and many of the people I see on the streets. (It's a little weird to feel like you belong somewhere when you're seen as out-of-place by nearly everyone around you.)
I always answer personal questions when the students ask me. I've lost so many of my boundaries. As previously mentioned: if putting my insecurities on display makes my students more excited about learning, then I'll put them on a goddamn poster. The things that make me feel insecure have been on a goddamn poster for a long time. There's not a lot I won't tell my students to gain their attention (though I'll admit that I lie to them about some questions [e.g. "Why aren't you married?"] out of self-preservation).
And the students are curious about me, still - I learned that today. I stayed at school about an hour past the time I'm allowed to leave to prepare for speaking tests next week, and 5 of my students ran to catch up to me on the way to the bus stop and had so many questions.
They were really good questions, too, like "Live in Korea is hard?" "Why come to our school?" "Teaching our school students is difficult?"
I told them I love living in Korea (I thought that was common knowledge by now). I told them teaching students at our school is sometimes hard because the students talk loudly in Korean and I have to yell. I told them I didn't have a choice about which school I was assigned to, but that I am really happy that I was assigned to Seoul Electronics High School.
They told me about dance club, which is why they were staying late at school too. At the school festival (which happens SOMETIME) they will perform this dance. "Heartbeat" was all the rage amongst my students during the deep winter months/is sometimes still all the rage. I told them I'm excited to see them perform - that's true.
We all took the bus together to Sadang and then they waited for me while I recharged my Hello Kitty subway card and then we all took the green line west together. I was so impressed with their English and all the things they managed to talk to me about, I couldn't figure out why they'd never approached me before. Three of them were 1st graders, that's easy - they've only known me for 3 weeks. But 2 of them were 2nd graders (I don't teach them this year, they told me they miss me), they've known me for 7 months.
My stop was first, and they actually said "Please don't go" as I prepared to get off the subway. I wouldn't make that up.
I wonder what made them decide to approach me today. I wonder how the 3 1st graders will act when I see them in class again next week - quiet as usual? or newly confident about their English (which sometimes seems to happen)?
I'll definitely get on their nuts more in and out of class now that I know what they're capable of.
Monday, 22 March 2010
not such a big money
Sometimes, these days, I find myself craving green tea instead of coffee. Even black coffee, nevermind the instant stuff that suddenly makes me want to vomit. That's weird.
I've started a new system with my 1st graders, in which I give them miniature laminated U.S. dollars when they volunteer in class or win a game, and they have to bring the dollar to me after class or during lunchtime to exchange it for candy.
It works ridiculously well. You should have seen their faces light up the first time I brought the dollars out of my bag and gave them to the winning team. There are a few dollars that I haven't gotten back, and I don't know if it's because the students lost the dollar, are too shy to approach me after class, or simply would rather have the fake dollar instead of the offered candy. I know for a fact that one of my students likes to keep his dollars tucked away in his wallet for a few days before exchanging them for candy. I find this unbelievably adorable, and I refuse to threaten the students into returning the dollars like my co-teachers suggest.
This week, I have those gold coin chocolates, and my students get really confused when they give me a dollar and I give them two gold coins in return. They think they've exchanged fake money for more fake money, and I have to explain that it's chocolate. Noobs. All of my 3rd graders know full well by now what those gold coins are.
I've started a new system with my 1st graders, in which I give them miniature laminated U.S. dollars when they volunteer in class or win a game, and they have to bring the dollar to me after class or during lunchtime to exchange it for candy.
It works ridiculously well. You should have seen their faces light up the first time I brought the dollars out of my bag and gave them to the winning team. There are a few dollars that I haven't gotten back, and I don't know if it's because the students lost the dollar, are too shy to approach me after class, or simply would rather have the fake dollar instead of the offered candy. I know for a fact that one of my students likes to keep his dollars tucked away in his wallet for a few days before exchanging them for candy. I find this unbelievably adorable, and I refuse to threaten the students into returning the dollars like my co-teachers suggest.
This week, I have those gold coin chocolates, and my students get really confused when they give me a dollar and I give them two gold coins in return. They think they've exchanged fake money for more fake money, and I have to explain that it's chocolate. Noobs. All of my 3rd graders know full well by now what those gold coins are.
Friday, 12 March 2010
pop music profile #9
Finally, T-Ara's come out with a new song, which I love even more because it reminds me of several Britney Spears songs. I love T-Ara, and two of my favorite students discovered this when they came to my desk while I had my headphones on, watching a less racy T-Ara video.
"Teacher! You know T-Ara?"
"Oh yes, I love T-Ara."
"T-Ara member what favorite?"
I've promised them I'll decide who my favorite member is this weekend and tell them next week.
My favorite member is Eunjung, the leader, by the way.
Their favorite song is Bo Peep, I relate completely.
"Teacher! You know T-Ara?"
"Oh yes, I love T-Ara."
"T-Ara member what favorite?"
I've promised them I'll decide who my favorite member is this weekend and tell them next week.
My favorite member is Eunjung, the leader, by the way.Friday, 5 March 2010
oh, thank fuck, my students are still there.
I taught my first classes of the new year today. My first period was 1st graders and they were SO QUIET and they just STARED AT ME THE WHOLE TIME, I swear. I introduced myself, then we played a game, and then we took what was supposed to be a mock quiz (I mean, the person who gets the most questions right gets candy, come ON). They acted like the game was a test and took the quiz like their lives depended on it, which is good in a way (it means they were paying attention and will probably study hard), but gosh, I meant for the class to be FUN.
So that was rough, and it got me even more nervous than I had been before about teaching the rest of my classes, but it was all uphill from there. The next class of 1st graders was great, and then I had one period of my beloved 3rd graders, and I really can't emphasize enough how much better they made me feel. I know them, they know me, we are comfortable with each other, and I was truly happy to see their faces. Being in front of a class of 25 3rd graders feels ever so much more like my comfort zone than the 1st graders do. I told them about my vacation, they told me about their vacations, I tricked them into thinking I was a married woman now, and the whole thing couldn't have gone better. Even shy-girl engaged and spoke, I was so happy.
Then my last class of the day was another 1st grade, and they were positively RAMBUNCTIOUS. I couldn't believe that at the beginning of the day I'd been worried about my students being too quiet. One student's English was pretty much limited to "OK" and "I love you," but he would not stop saying those two things over and over whenever given the opportunity. He's going to be one of the "give me candy!" students, I can smell it.
So that was rough, and it got me even more nervous than I had been before about teaching the rest of my classes, but it was all uphill from there. The next class of 1st graders was great, and then I had one period of my beloved 3rd graders, and I really can't emphasize enough how much better they made me feel. I know them, they know me, we are comfortable with each other, and I was truly happy to see their faces. Being in front of a class of 25 3rd graders feels ever so much more like my comfort zone than the 1st graders do. I told them about my vacation, they told me about their vacations, I tricked them into thinking I was a married woman now, and the whole thing couldn't have gone better. Even shy-girl engaged and spoke, I was so happy.
Then my last class of the day was another 1st grade, and they were positively RAMBUNCTIOUS. I couldn't believe that at the beginning of the day I'd been worried about my students being too quiet. One student's English was pretty much limited to "OK" and "I love you," but he would not stop saying those two things over and over whenever given the opportunity. He's going to be one of the "give me candy!" students, I can smell it.
Thursday, 7 January 2010
I want to tell you about my students.
Sometimes I forget what I've written here vs. what I've only told a few people over Skype, and on the phone with someone last week I realized that some of you don't know as much about my students as I thought you did.
My students have had a rough time in the Korean education system. Sometime in either elementary or middle school, they fucked up, and they've been on the track to a technical high school ever since. Even if they know the material, they do poorly on standardized tests, and standardized tests are everything in Korea, even more than in the U.S. The Korean education system doesn't really give you a second chance; if you haven't managed to test well by the end of middle school, then you're going to a shit high school and probably never going to college. If you do go to college, it will probably be a 2-year technical college that isn't prestigious and therefore isn't respected. That's even assuming you have the money for college; most of my students just don't. In the U.S., if your parents don't have the money to put you through college, you can do it yourself on student loans and working. In Korea, student loans are only given out at exorbitant interest rates and have to be paid back in a much shorter time period: 2-3 years. Which means if your family can't put you through college, you're not going.
Like I said, no second chances.
Aside from that, most of my students are struggling with depression or attention disorders, or both. They have extreme mood swings: some are happy and active in class one day, exhausted and unresponsive the next - or sometimes, angry and violent towards their classmates, both verbally and physically. Sleep deprivation is a huge problem; most of them are addicted to videogames to such an extent that they will stay up all night playing them and then come to school. Some of them can't afford winter coats, most of them don't eat breakfast, a few of them eat their only meal of the day in the school cafeteria. Which, in an extremely depressing way, means that food - especially warm food - is the most effective reward I can give out. They will try infinitely harder if there is a snack on the line.
And most of my students are also wracked with insecurity. They have been doing poorly in the school system for a long time, and have been told that they are bad students, that they are stupid for an equally long time. Most of them don't receive much support from home.
It sounds corny, but you'd be surprised how far something like "You can do it! You're smart!" goes when I'm trying to get my students to learn something. The reaction is often immediate. "Oh, thank you! Okay, I can do it," they say, and sit up straighter. I try to be a constant fountain of positive reinforcement. It probably doesn't make much of a difference; after all, I only see them once a week. I am only their English teacher, I can't even speak their language. I am not the place they look for unconditional support.
Sometimes I get frustrated with my students, because they put forth so little effort. Sometimes I feel like I spend all my free time trying to think up activities that will trick them into engaging. Sometimes I leave the classroom thinking I am a terrible teacher, I am not what these kids need.
But most of the time, I love them. They are crazy, they sing "Good Morning, Pah-may-la!" in opera voices out the windows of their freezing classrooms. They sometimes burst into K-Pop songs during class. And they sometimes really try, sometimes the lowest-level 1st graders try so hard and do so well with things that I know are hard for them. And I leave class smiling and proud of my students and never having felt more like Pam-Mom in all my life.
Also, let me tell you about technical high schools. There's recently been a surge of technical high school native English-speaking teachers trying to get in contact with each other, and as a result of it I've started to think more about my school's place in the overall education system. And I'm starting to realize that part of why I've felt so unprepared for this entire experience is because this is not what they trained me for at orientation. Granted, a 9-day orientation is not enough time to figure out how to teach. But by the end of orientation, I had a lot of ideas. I'd been told that most of the students I'd be teaching would probably have had private English tutoring all their lives (most Seoul students do, unless their families are extremely low-income) and would be nearly fluent by now. I had a lot of ideas; I was excited to teach my students some of the nuances of English that I find interesting. Technical high schools were barely mentioned at orientation, and when someone brought them up they were usually dismissed with something like, "If you get a tech school, good luck." No real advice.
So I was shocked when I got to my school. I couldn't use the ideas I'd been given for higher-level high schoolers, because I would lose all of my students within 2 minutes, guaranteed. I couldn't use the ideas I'd been given for elementary schoolers, because (even though the content would be at the right level) my students would hate me for treating them like children. I found myself having to come up with all my own ideas, since none of the ideas other people were putting out there would work for me or my students. How unreasonable. How was I supposed to design my own curriculum with a total of 9 days of unhelpful teacher training? No fucking wonder I've been overwhelmed.
What I mean to say is: the Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education (my ultimate boss) has written off technical high schools as a lost cause, and they are not making any real attempt to train the teachers they place in these schools. Supposedly, the turnover rate of native English-speaking teachers at technical high schools is nearly 100%, which isn't that surprising given that we are given NO PREPARATION for the situation - but it also means that (supposedly) there is no one experienced enough in teaching at a technical high school to be able to train us.
I'm not sure I buy this. After all, even if there aren't any experienced native English-speaking teachers, surely it would be similarly effective to have a Korean English teacher speak to us about the things we are likely to experience in technical high schools, and to give us some idea of how to approach the lesson material. Surely they could bring in a guidance counselor to tell us about some of the struggles (mental and otherwise) that our students are likely to be going through.
Have I conveyed to you how frustrated I am about all of this? It really makes me angry how much my students are continually written off by the education system and Korean society as a whole. I want to say: "They exist, okay? They deserve to be taught well."
And all of this is part of the reason I am thinking so hard about renewing my contract at my same school next year. Partly because I love my kids, partly because: Pam-Mom, partly because I have an amazing support network in the teachers at my school, partly because I will never be satisfied with myself until I learn how to teach these students effectively, partly because someone has to learn how to give these kids what they need, and who is going to do it?
My students have had a rough time in the Korean education system. Sometime in either elementary or middle school, they fucked up, and they've been on the track to a technical high school ever since. Even if they know the material, they do poorly on standardized tests, and standardized tests are everything in Korea, even more than in the U.S. The Korean education system doesn't really give you a second chance; if you haven't managed to test well by the end of middle school, then you're going to a shit high school and probably never going to college. If you do go to college, it will probably be a 2-year technical college that isn't prestigious and therefore isn't respected. That's even assuming you have the money for college; most of my students just don't. In the U.S., if your parents don't have the money to put you through college, you can do it yourself on student loans and working. In Korea, student loans are only given out at exorbitant interest rates and have to be paid back in a much shorter time period: 2-3 years. Which means if your family can't put you through college, you're not going.
Like I said, no second chances.
Aside from that, most of my students are struggling with depression or attention disorders, or both. They have extreme mood swings: some are happy and active in class one day, exhausted and unresponsive the next - or sometimes, angry and violent towards their classmates, both verbally and physically. Sleep deprivation is a huge problem; most of them are addicted to videogames to such an extent that they will stay up all night playing them and then come to school. Some of them can't afford winter coats, most of them don't eat breakfast, a few of them eat their only meal of the day in the school cafeteria. Which, in an extremely depressing way, means that food - especially warm food - is the most effective reward I can give out. They will try infinitely harder if there is a snack on the line.
And most of my students are also wracked with insecurity. They have been doing poorly in the school system for a long time, and have been told that they are bad students, that they are stupid for an equally long time. Most of them don't receive much support from home.
It sounds corny, but you'd be surprised how far something like "You can do it! You're smart!" goes when I'm trying to get my students to learn something. The reaction is often immediate. "Oh, thank you! Okay, I can do it," they say, and sit up straighter. I try to be a constant fountain of positive reinforcement. It probably doesn't make much of a difference; after all, I only see them once a week. I am only their English teacher, I can't even speak their language. I am not the place they look for unconditional support.
Sometimes I get frustrated with my students, because they put forth so little effort. Sometimes I feel like I spend all my free time trying to think up activities that will trick them into engaging. Sometimes I leave the classroom thinking I am a terrible teacher, I am not what these kids need.
But most of the time, I love them. They are crazy, they sing "Good Morning, Pah-may-la!" in opera voices out the windows of their freezing classrooms. They sometimes burst into K-Pop songs during class. And they sometimes really try, sometimes the lowest-level 1st graders try so hard and do so well with things that I know are hard for them. And I leave class smiling and proud of my students and never having felt more like Pam-Mom in all my life.
Also, let me tell you about technical high schools. There's recently been a surge of technical high school native English-speaking teachers trying to get in contact with each other, and as a result of it I've started to think more about my school's place in the overall education system. And I'm starting to realize that part of why I've felt so unprepared for this entire experience is because this is not what they trained me for at orientation. Granted, a 9-day orientation is not enough time to figure out how to teach. But by the end of orientation, I had a lot of ideas. I'd been told that most of the students I'd be teaching would probably have had private English tutoring all their lives (most Seoul students do, unless their families are extremely low-income) and would be nearly fluent by now. I had a lot of ideas; I was excited to teach my students some of the nuances of English that I find interesting. Technical high schools were barely mentioned at orientation, and when someone brought them up they were usually dismissed with something like, "If you get a tech school, good luck." No real advice.
So I was shocked when I got to my school. I couldn't use the ideas I'd been given for higher-level high schoolers, because I would lose all of my students within 2 minutes, guaranteed. I couldn't use the ideas I'd been given for elementary schoolers, because (even though the content would be at the right level) my students would hate me for treating them like children. I found myself having to come up with all my own ideas, since none of the ideas other people were putting out there would work for me or my students. How unreasonable. How was I supposed to design my own curriculum with a total of 9 days of unhelpful teacher training? No fucking wonder I've been overwhelmed.
What I mean to say is: the Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education (my ultimate boss) has written off technical high schools as a lost cause, and they are not making any real attempt to train the teachers they place in these schools. Supposedly, the turnover rate of native English-speaking teachers at technical high schools is nearly 100%, which isn't that surprising given that we are given NO PREPARATION for the situation - but it also means that (supposedly) there is no one experienced enough in teaching at a technical high school to be able to train us.
I'm not sure I buy this. After all, even if there aren't any experienced native English-speaking teachers, surely it would be similarly effective to have a Korean English teacher speak to us about the things we are likely to experience in technical high schools, and to give us some idea of how to approach the lesson material. Surely they could bring in a guidance counselor to tell us about some of the struggles (mental and otherwise) that our students are likely to be going through.
Have I conveyed to you how frustrated I am about all of this? It really makes me angry how much my students are continually written off by the education system and Korean society as a whole. I want to say: "They exist, okay? They deserve to be taught well."
And all of this is part of the reason I am thinking so hard about renewing my contract at my same school next year. Partly because I love my kids, partly because: Pam-Mom, partly because I have an amazing support network in the teachers at my school, partly because I will never be satisfied with myself until I learn how to teach these students effectively, partly because someone has to learn how to give these kids what they need, and who is going to do it?
Sunday, 6 December 2009
The guy I got raw on hasn't stopped participating, by the way.
A significant portion of the English language selection at the local Bandi&Luni's bookstore.
I only want to eat clementines these days.
The positioning of this family tree intrigues me.
demon tree?
My students are insane. That is not a TREE, that is a HAND.
lolz.
Thanksgiving week, some of my 2nd grade classes were ahead of schedule. So we talked about the differences between American and Korean Thanksgiving/Chuseok, and these are the results. It would have been easier to just transcribe the funny sentences, but I felt like transcription couldn't do them justice.
Aww. Hugs!
I love this student. He is so nice and funny and tries so hard. And he came up with the words "appreciate" and "oxygen" all on his own!
Foolproof way to get the immediate attention of 95% of my students: mention sexy girls. They love talking about sexy girls.
Not sure why this student wrote "delicious" next to his name, but I like it.
This girl is awesome. She loves Britney Spears and everyone knows it. "happy good smile ^o^"/ "Idol is bling bling very new Idol comeback eyes happy" :)
This is shy-girl.
I love #2.
"Dog b/c dog is cute"!
Bana milk is a Korean drink brand. "Korea b/c Korea is peaceful"!
This guy is funny. It sounds kind of bad, but he explained it to me as approximately: "I am thankful for my friends surrounding me because it means I don't have to use guns." So, being surrounded by friends is a kind of power.
My students love it when I say, "blah blah blah," and they love parroting "blah blah blah" back to me. :)
Finally, the suck-ups. That day I was wearing baggy washed-out construction jeans (w/ 9 pockets). I guess that makes me stylish. Like a New Yorker.
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