I don't have it in me. Most of the time, I'm a complete pushover. I smile and laugh with my students, I give out plenty of rewards but virtually no punishments, I give the students who refused to wake up on test day second chances to get their points.
I occasionally raise my voice a little with the rowdy classes to tell them to "be quiet, please." But it's really, really rare for me to scold a student. Generally, I just refuse to give them their reward if they do something I don't like (e.g. copy answers from other students, sleep during class, speak in Korean when I've asked them do an activity in English, etc). Scolding has maybe happened about 10 times, when they do something I refuse to tolerate (belittling their classmates, displaying physical violence towards their classmates). When students push each other around, I yell. ("Stop that, sit down, no fighting," etc.) When students call each other names (which tend to be along the lines of "stupid"), I snap at the offending student ("Don't say that") and tell him (it's always "him") not to lie.
My scolding is nearly always met with shock and meek&muttered "sorry's" from the offending students. I think this reaction is caused by a variety of things: 1. the novelty of my presence makes the students perpetually want to be on my good side; 2. the abrupt change from my usual friendly behavior helps to convince students that they've done something wrong; and 3. my physical largeness and my loud voice (is it strange to call my own voice "booming"? but sometimes, it really does boom to my ears, it surprises me with how loud it is) are enough to intimidate even the rowdier boys.
But all of that aside, today I got really raw on a student for the first time. I was in one of the 2nd grade classes I have with Han Jin-An, the older male teacher who doesn't speak English. The classes I have with him are always a little harder to control. We were in the middle of a speaking test. Two boys were up at the front of the classroom doing a skit, and one of the students who had already done his skit started calling one of the performing students "gay, really gay."
I was immediately furious. I put on my booming voice and interrupted the skit and told the boy that if he ever said that again I would give him a zero for the test he'd just aced. And it worked, because the student who was name-calling is maybe the smartest kid in that class. He always volunteers, always participates, always approaches me to talk outside of class. Having points taken away from his grade is (in his eyes) maybe the worst realistic punishment I could give him. He was silent for the rest of the class.
I have no idea what to think of my response. After all, the impression I want to give is not that "gay" is an unspeakable word, but that I won't tolerate it as an insult. And I really hope that I didn't completely shut down this kid. I want him to participate; he's always been really enthusiastic about English, and I want that to continue.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is: my response was knee-jerk. I didn't think it through beforehand whatsoever, and it was a lot harsher than my previous responses to name-calling (other names, not "gay"). Be my bouncing board, will you? What should I have done?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Hmmm....struggling over how assertive to be? Want the students to both enjoy your classes and respect you? Sounds vaguely familiar to me. LOL.
I think your response was fine Pamela. You are particularly passionate about that insult because of its personal nature. I have, however, learned from Beaver Island not to take things personally. Generally a student's insult is a result of insecurities (whether he was jealous because he felt their skit was really good, or he wanted to impress his peers by making fun of them). If your response demonstrated that you would not tolerate such insults, mission accomplished. I doubt that the kid will no longer want to participate due to that.
If you feel so inclined, pull him aside and talk to him about the situation, and end it by building him up with compliments on how impressed you are with his work. Just the opinion of a second year veteran...lol...I hope things go well! -Justin
I think it was fine to get raw on his ass. But maybe if you notice the student you yelled at seeming less involved in class because he is giving you the "silent treatment" for scolding him, you should talk to him privately. Pull him aside and say, "I didn't mean to be so forceful in class the other day, but I just don't want other students using that term as an insult...etc" and explain why.
Sometimes though, you just gotta cut a bitch.
Aw shit, I have no idea how I would've reacted in that situation. I don't know if I would have threatened to go back and change a grade, but then again, I don't give grades to my students. I think in general, you might want to establish a rule where anyone who name-calls will have some points taken away from their overall class grade. I think that seems fair and not too reasonable.
I do need to add this: I really disagree with part of Justin's comment. This is NOT at all a question of not taking things "too personally." Teachers often have no idea if there are any LGBTQ students in their classes because a lot of queer kids closet themselves in this situation. You have no idea how fucking uncomfortable it is to be closeted in a classroom and have to listen to other students say homophobic things while the teacher sits and does nothing--or worst, when the teacher plays along. Things like that very literally made me want to kill myself when I was in high school. I really feel like it's a teacher's responsibility to make a classroom safe for *everyone.* This is not a personal issue at all--it is an issue of safety, of security. Of making sure that people aren't hurt.
Thank you guys for your feedback, it's really helpful for me to hear your opinions on the situation, since the whole experience of teaching and punishing is still so unfamiliar to me.
On taking away points from grades: that probably sounds really weird to you. But it's not, here. Losing points from their grades is one of the first things that students are punished with when they act up in class, and it's one of the few punishments that I am allowed to doll out. I hardly ever use it, since classroom discipline usually falls in the realm of my co-teachers, anyway. And frankly, I'm not that attached to grades to begin with; if students put in a reasonable amount of effort and mostly behave themselves in class, I am happy to give them all A's.
But the point of that was: the students are already very familiar with the concept of grades being lowered because of misbehavior. If the student had continued name-calling and I had followed through on my threat to give him a zero on the test, he would have lost 5 points. It wasn't that big of a test. It might have lowered his overall English grade from an A to an A-. So while students would normally only lose 1 point at a time for misbehavior, I'm not entirely convinced that the elevated threat was inappropriate to the serious nature of the insult.
Also, to Justin:
It seems clear from your comment that you've figured out that I identify as queer. What that means for this situation is that I have thought far more about the use of "gay" as an insult than most people have. I know how hurtful it can be; I know how much it builds intolerance in a community.
But frankly, I have also thought far more about the use of racial slurs as insults and the use of sexist language as insults than most people. And I think my reaction would have been just as knee-jerk to any insult that aims to tear down a person because of his/her identity, be it ethnic, gender, or sexual identity.
To be honest, this post didn't have anything to do with my sexual identity. Yes, I am queer, but I certainly know myself well enough by this point to know better than to take the comments of a confused and insecure 16-year-old boy personally. The situation was not about my orientation; it was about how to best deal with a particularly heinous insult that could be particularly hurtful to my students. And I don't want anyone to get hurt in my classroom, ever.
Maybe an English class on unsafe language and how it hurts others is in order. Sometimes, kids have no idea of the horrible meanings behind what they're saying. They just think it makes them sound cool.
First off, I would politely request that Jane cool her jets LOL. I do not at all mean to downplay the harmful effects of the use of words like "gay," "fag," etc. in a classroom. As a teacher, I do not tolerate the use of such words in my classroom, and I would NEVER join in a chorus of slurs against any particular group. Additionally, I did not mean to make the emphasis of my statements the "personal" aspect of the insult. I was merely stating that to choose a certain word as one's "cause celebre" in which we have harsher punishments for one insult over another goes against a policy of fairness (which I am not implying you wouldn't have Pamela).
I was further trying to comfort you in worrying about him not wanting to participate in your classroom simply because he had been scolded. If anyone felt that I was minimizing the power of such insults, I apologize. But if you look at my remarks closer, you will see that my message was one of trying to help the student by focusing on the motivations behind his behavior, not in focusing on anyone's orientation. -Justin
Justin, I know that you didn't mean any offense with your comment, and I really do appreciate your advice as a more experienced teacher. No one was trying to accuse you of tolerating hurtful behavior in your classroom.
My comment (and I think Jane's comment too) was a reaction against what seemed to be the assumption that I would necessarily react differently or unfairly to the word "gay" just because I am queer. If that implication was not your intention, then maybe this all is a miscommunication. But I felt the need to point out that I was not making this a personal issue for me, that I would never punish students out of a desire for any sort of personal vindication.
I think that your response is reasonable, especially knowing that a 0 would not be enough to destroy an overall grade. I don't know what your students are like but I know being interrupted in anyway while doing a skit in class would really upset me, because being up in front of everyone is scary. The fact that it was an insult that hits you personally is important, but doesn't make it wrong. I think it's good that you let your students know it's not ok to interrupt and demean each other. My suggestion would be to just try to be consistent and fair about it. Maybe even explain to your kids what exactly it is that you find unacceptable behavior (insults, not respecting one another, etc.) so that they are clear on it if you think it would help. Hope your interrupting student is still participating. :)
Post a Comment