dear swine flu:

You can't just take over my whole weekend like that, and then leave me Sunday afternoon, just in time for me to be well enough to go to work on Monday.

Seriously, I feel like I've been reasonable over the course of our relationship. I didn't complain when it was your fault half of my students went missing a month or so ago, and I didn't even complain when you finally decided to lodge yourself in my throat the morning of the day I had to finish giving speaking tests.

So let's be reasonable. You can have my weekend, but I'm gonna need something in exchange. I was too sick to get anything done Friday, Saturday, and half of Sunday, so it's only fair that I get a couple of weekdays off. So if we could hang out together until Monday or Tuesday, that would be awesome.

Heartz,
Pam

(p.s. dear people-who-are-not-swine-flu: I don't actually know if I had swine flu. I felt like shit this weekend, which included: a high fever, sore throat, headache, sinus pressure, and body aches. All of which, my internet research tells me, are symptoms of swine flu, but also of a lot of other less funny things. I didn't think my condition warranted going to the hospital - though I briefly considered calling Park Mi-Ran because a) it would make a better story later, and b) I kind of wanted the hospital to give me a test to determine whether I actually had swine flu or not. [But what if the test was negative? All my dreams would be crushed!] Anyway, I didn't go to the hospital, so I don't know what I had.

I feel better now. Almost normal, aside from my continued runny nose. Sadly, I'll almost definitely be feeling well enough to go to school tomorrow. WHEN will I get a break. WHEN.)

The end.